Forgiveness

So i rarely get into relationships at all, ive had about two prior ones but this one is a little different. Ive been in the relationship for about 2 months, i know not that long, and at the start i didnt know where it was going. Im used to one night stands or friends with benefits. So i sleept with a guy at the very start of our relationship, mimd you we were not even dating but as we got closer i keept on feeling shitter and shitter about how i slept with this other guy. I get back from being away for 10 days and 20mins into seeing him again i tell him about it. Turns out he is his band mate and he is playing a gig with him in a few days. He flips out, tries to kick me out but i couldnt move (i get frozen) and so he drinks and i curl up and i know i messed up but then he slapped me, and then again, and then the next thing i know ive been enduring slaps and punches and verbal abuse for 3 nights. On the last night i told him that he had to stop hurting me, he punched me after that. He was drunk the whole time and i dont even think he remembers doing half of what he did to me. So i take him to his gig but ofc he breaks down and i go straight into ‘caregiver’ mode. This nice girl who was a psychologist basically assessed the situation and said i could leave the gig. So i did. He then spent the night in hospital for mental health reasons (i also had to take his knife away from him) and for his alcoholism. He now says he forgives me for hurting him but i cant forgive him. I just cant look at him the same way i did before he made me so scared and frightened. Im not blaming myself for his actions and i am taking some space from him for a week. I do like him and did fall in love with him but as i said i cannot forgive him for what he did. I know people say they will ‘never do it again’ but i said that towards cheating and i have cheated a fair few times. I miss him too, he was a good guy but i think his drinking got the better of him. Feel free to comment your take on the situation, thx for reading xo