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Feels Hopeless

Desluna0962 January 13th, 2021

I think I’m falling out of love.. with a man who is probably the best person I have ever been in an relationship with. He is judgement free, loyal, loving, and many more things. But I’m not sexually attracted to him and sometimes I think he just loves the fact that he has a girlfriend. My past relationships have been very toxic, the longest was five years and very mentally abusive. He would control every aspect of my life, constantly having to know about my day and life. I think transitioning from such an intense relationship to a much more free one has affected me immensely. Yet I just don’t know how to sort out these feelings and express to him how I feel. Sometimes I can only express hate and it’s the last thing I ever want to feel toward him. Sometimes I wander if maybe we’re better off friends. I question a lot about our relationship, is that bad? Am I am awful girlfriend?

2
ouiCherie January 14th, 2021

Hi @Desluna0962

Thank you for reached out here ❤ How's it going with you?

In regards to your post, he seems like a great person and you're just as great, you acknowledge his good qualities, appreciate him and have intention to love him better.

Perhaps you want to dig into yourself with questions like:

○ What made you stayed in an unhealthy relationship before?

○ Many times we stay in an unhealthy relationship because unconsciously it feels familiar. What feelings your previous toxic relationship created that feels familiar?

○ Maybe knowing what is your attachment style may help too?

○ What options are possible for you to change/ do to be able to feel content in a healthy relationship?

○ How are you going to accept things that you can't change?

What do you think? 🙂

- 🍀

lifeisbeautiful37 January 26th, 2021

You are listening to your intuition and that is a GOOD thing!!! I’m sexually attracted to my husband but not emotionally connected with him. I fell out of love while dating him but married him anyway. You are I are in the same yet opposite situation—there is SOMETHING MISSING. Eventually the something missing feeling will get worse and worse until you listen to your intuition and have to do something about it. 15 1/2 years later and I want to get a divorce and trying to make that decision but it is so hard. So figure it out now and not later. Good luck!