Exhausted but relieved

This is a challenging time for me I've been reflecting on all my personal relationships family and romantic currently fighting with a pending divorce and working through issues in my relationship I haven't been with my husband going on for about two years rekindled a former relationship with someone I loved deeply however recently found out that my boyfriend had cheated on me me and it's taking a toll on me mentally it has made me question myself thoroughly I know I love him and he claims to love me despite as what he says making his mistake but it just doesn't sit with me right it's one of the main reasons why I left my soon to be ex husband the disrespect and the distance that an affair can cause on a relationship is tough. As far as the family aspect I've strengthen some of those bonds so that's the relief taking the time and putting in the effort. But I just don't have the ability right now to openly express my feelings and concerns to my current partner and as far as my ex I don't want the typical fighting that's associated with a divorce i hope we can walk away amicably from each each other and kindle a friendship or at least be cordial is that too much to ask for