respect and support in a marriage
what do others do to stand up when a partner does not show you respect you deserve.
i am well aware i need to be more responsible for my own reactions to his childish behavior and my own happiness....
I am struggling with a partner who does not show me any respect............when good things happen in our world Usually due to legwork i did ...... he takes credit .....
if i do any thing that is working well he has to take OVER so it is his win ..... i did not want to end up like this but now he has to argue about everything and when google proves me right he loses his mind..... i do not rub his face into i AM right but if he is right he practically does a victory dance...
if people have suggestions on how to end this BS let me know.
@toughTiger6481 It sounds like he needs to be in charge. He wants to win this contest. He wants to be the important one. The one who knows things. The one who solves problems. Who is the spectator he wants to impress when he does his victory dance? Is a partnership a zero sum game? When he tries to take over I think it would be particularly maddening. It sounds like he is winning the “battle” of propping up his ego, but losing the battle of staying in a happy partnership. If there were just someway he could see that.
@FlatenedByLife
Thank you for your response.... and yes the thing is there is no one to share his Victory so i do not see what he is getting out of the situation.
our kids are grown and no longer in house. he took over something for the neighbors to think he was in charge... and his latest example had no one but him trying to spin the story to ME the one person who knows he is full of it.
I ordered online a meal... his ONLY JOB was pick up..... he got there says they claimed not ready and could not find order it was sitting on counter waiting for pickup but hostess/ manager could not find hiding in plain sight so food was super cold he came home said that place is a mess do not order there again
so i responded to their online portal ( large chain restaurant ) in an hour they online group talked to manager and got a refund as manger did admit they screwed up. I said "we got a refund" . he then MADE up i am sure a huge drama of the complaint / scene he made and that is why the refund........
All i could think was "IF " you did this how much extra time did that take? making food colder....
Then i wondered if this pickup disaster was he asked for wrong name or in some way added to the confusion as that sounds like him.
People say i am making it worse not letting him live in his sense of being in charge and the hero in all situations but it is not that i want credit ...... i just am done with his delusions of his importance.
@toughTiger6481 I don’t agree with those telling you that letting him think he is in charge is the right answer. You did something constructive in getting the refund. Maybe there is a way for you to make his game less attractive to him? I grew up in a house like this and I don’t know if there are easy answers - heaven knows my mom tried.
@FlatenedByLife
That really helps ...I also see no point in playing into this game i already try to avoid these situations as much as possible but when they come up it just makes me wonder if i am the only person dealing with a person like this.
I would not wish it on others but is helpful to know this is not just me ... he always claims i am OVER reacting and i am too competitive but i do not need credit just set off that he claims credit that is NOT his .
