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need to vent about spouse who has to be doing this on purpose.

toughTiger6481 February 5th

had a OK weekend ... but then in less then a half hour he has me so angry work will suck today.

garbage  / recycle day  can he help take it out ......NOPE    he thinks i am the janitor too....

put dishwasher on delayed start ........he does not know how that works .......so he opened door left ajar so it did not start while he was watching TV ........it would not have done that.... it had hours before starting..... could he have asked or made sure to close door before going to bed????    NOPE .......... starts digging through DIRTY dishes this morning  and tells me the machine must be broke    I  said  "NOPE you opened and left door ajar does not work that way"  ...... and he LIES about it

i heard him screwing with it when i was heading to bed.... he uses dirty dishes if i do not get a chance to run them and WONDERS why i do not want him to make me things to eat...with dirty dishes or utensils ?    I really wish he would get a bad case of diarrhea or food poisoning but somehow he would blame me.  

 HE  left a mess outside (for 2 months)    something that needed to taken to dump .......but he is too lazy so i broke it up and will put in  garbage can a bit at a time for a few weeks ...... i did 1/3 of it he has to come "help" and then says it was a good idea HE had and takes credit..... 

he was sending a family member a gift and got  a notice it was delayed ..........wants me to text them to say it would be late as we inform them so they can watch for delivery and not get stolen.... 

I AM NOT his assistant....... or his MOTHER or caretaker  ..... 

IF this was a one time thing ........i would be great but it is continual and even if he clues in for a day or two it goes right back ..... i am lost as how to continue to cope 

HAD numerous talks goes no where  ...... he lies like a child being caught doing something he KNOWS he is not supposed to do.   It is not a matter of i forgot or did not know .......

thought of therapy for myself but am seriously concerned if i am told these are small things let them go i will SNAP .......being continually aggravated on purpose by someone is taking a toll on me. 



2
toughTiger6481 OP February 6th


does anyone know what the payoff in being a known liar is?    I mean most people do things that work for them but lies and general inconsiderate behavior only serves to make those around you NOT want to be around you... you lose trust ......you lose friends or family who know you for what you are so what is the point in continuing this ......?   maybe if i understood that i could cope better with the liar/ lazy and general inconsiderate slob in my life....


1 reply
toughTiger6481 OP February 12th

@toughTiger6481

I know i can not make him seek therapy but this is no way to live anymore... 

We had yet another talk and he does the head shake like things will be better but it doesn't he has always avoided things and seems perplexed when it reaches a point of beyond fixing.  another DARVO thing with him to deflect- accuse - reverse  and play the victim..... 

I even used this phrase and showed him how he is following a playbook ..... so he woke up and pretends the talk never happened talks about things like he is aware of the things but i am only on edge knowing pretending and kicking the issues down the road will not help. 

I am not sure if counseling would help but may give me closure that he does have these issues. 


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