Situationship venting / cry for help

I’m hoping I’ve found a safe space to post my inner thoughts with a community that can hopefully help me.

these are some the thought I’ve have had after the ending of a complicated situationship that I wish could have gone further and I acknowledged my true feelings for her deep down.

THOUGHTS

I appreciate that you took the time to talk to me in person and admit your feelings out loud, it meant a lot. 

The change in circumstance isn’t something I’ve been able to fully process and acknowledge my own feelings. 

It’s quite clear to me that I care and feel for you a great deal more than I wanted to with the fear of being hurt because of knowing what you wanted. It’s just felt bitter sweet that you could finally verbally admit things to me and say your actions showed this as well but this how I’ve read your actions….

You’ve said you have feelings for me and even said I’m someone you could see a future with but then since I’ve been more removed from your life you’ve found it easier to push all of that aside and start your single life which is entirely fair but it’s left me feeling like a bit of a mug and someone was easy to disregard. 

I’m not saying any of this to you to be vindictive or to make you feel bad but I just would like you to see where I’m coming from. 

In the grand scheme of things, I want you to be happy and if that doesn’t involve me then I need to accept it but I would like to hope you wouldn’t disregard my emotions in this with how much we’ve been there for one another through difficult times.