Saying Sorry

I was apologizing to someone the other day for a mistake, but I felt wholly unresolved after the conversation. In reflecting on what I could have done better, I remembered back to what I had been taught as a young person, which may have made a difference in the outcome had I remembered prior to having this conversation. There was a four-step method:

1. I am sorry for [explicit act].
2. This is wrong because [reason].
3. In the future I will [resolution].
4. Will you forgive me?

As a simple example, "I'm sorry for eating the last cupcake. This is wrong because I already ate three, and Mom was saving this one for you. In the future I will be more considerate about food that is labeled with your name in the fridge. Will you forgive me?"

In my {failed} conversation, I didn't explicitly state what I did wrong, so the other party was both confused as to what I was referring to and also thought I didn't understand what I did wrong. I also didn't explain why I understood my action to be wrong, or provide a path forward. And most importantly, I didn't get resolution because I didn't know if they forgave me after all the words I muddled through. If you're brave enough to own up to your mistakes, you deserve to know if the other party understood what you said and is willing to move past it.

I hope this helps some of you resolve situations better than I did.