My Girl, Her Ex, and Their Daughter
I'm having challenges accepting my girl has a daughter and an ex husband. I thought I could work through it. It's very hard. When we first started dating, very first, I didn't know she had a daughter. So much to say, but I'll leave it at that.
@torontoraptors2
It is hard enough going into a relationship knowing this. A child ties two people together and when a third party enters it is complicated. NOT knowing going in is much more stressful. Why she did not chose to tell you is between you and her but i can imagine you have many feelings about this.
@torontoraptors2 Hello. It is sad to hear you might feel confused, insecure, frustrated, or not told the whole truth, or actually not knowing what to do.
To me the acceptance of the existence of ex husbands and children from previous relationships came with aging. At a certain point of life there are very few people who don't have ex partners or children (or they are still in a relationship and not seeking anyone).
To me the relationship between a man and a woman is totally different, and not comparable on equal terms to the relationship between a parent and a child.
If your girlfriend has a daughter, the girl is her child forever. When the child is still 5 or 12 years old, or needing special care, things may get more complicated. But the older the child is, and the more assertive and thoughtful your girlfriend is, she might be only slightly dependent to contact her ex on organizational plane, but not on the emotional plane.
I believe people should not be rejected just for having their own history - unless they make use of their history in a wrong way.
However, I think you are right feeling a bit confused. In my view things like "I have a 3-year-old baby" or "I am still living in the same house with my ex" SHOULD necessarily be told on the very first date, or before.
