Is this toxic?

So I have some mental issues and have frequent thoughts of offing myself and harming myself. My boyfriend thinks I may have BPD based off my behavior (I don't know, I refuse to see a doctor or tell my parents). Not too long ago he send me a text telling me he can't be with me because its too big of a burden. We called for 20 minutes or so, he apologised and even said he's coming over right now (he lives an hour away), but now that I've calmed down I can't help but think if his behaviour might be toxic or is that just me?

He was crying too, so I think he regrets it and I know he's under a lot of stress, but breaking up with me (or wanting to) because I may have BPD? I don't know...