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Is this an unhealthy situation?
Audrey3771 July 18th
.

I’ve been looking for someone to talk to about this problem, and my stress about it is only getting worse.


My girlfriend and I just got out of a fighting stage that lasted like 5 months. It was awful. Now we’re doing better, but lately I’ve been thinking about things that happened or things she said that really hurt me during it. I have also been thinking about previous red flags in our relationship. I’ve made a list of the things I can think of, but I won’t post that here.


I’m stressing because I believe a lot of what she did was controlling and even manipulative. I don’t think it was healthy at all, and lately I’m wondering where I need to go from here.


It really hurt me a lot, and I didn’t have the confidence then to stand up for myself, but lately I have and it’s ended arguments quickly.

1
toughTiger6481 July 18th
.

@Audrey3771

Sometimes we have to learn to stand up for ourselves and we find things we still wanted to speak up about. 

Yes after a fighting period ,,, we often reflect and yes some things stung and may need to be revisited to be resolved. Many a couple settle after the fight phase ... no one wins and like an item that broken and we fixed we can still see cracks from the repairs.  

Many may tell you just leave your feelings  in the past ...forgive and forget ..... I tried that ... what happens is  a underlying feeling of disrespect and easy to be sensitive then the dam will break....if you do not get it fixed now.   

Your title "is  it is unhealthy"  .... maybe..... but  sometimes a flower has to stand in  (BS) fertilizer to bloom.  

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