I don't know what to do

I dated a guy online almost 3 years ago. I dumped him two times because I wasn't ready for a relationship and I was just scared cause it was online. The breakup was messy and for a year I didn't speak to him. I blocked him from everywhere.

One day after a year he found me on one of the social platforms and begged me for forgiveness. In the beginning I was cold as my mental state that time wasn't good but eventually we started talking a lot. My mental state that year was going a little downhill because of issues at home, grie dw and my sister going away to another country. He used to make me feel good. And I always felt he would like me no matter how I was. I got to know he was dating someone else. But still our undeniable chemistry was still there. I asked him out cause I was desperate to be loved in the end of 2022 and he said he can't hurt his girlfriend and he was scared that I'll just dump him again and forget him. We still didn't stop talking. He has broken up with his girlfriend. We have conversations like we're still dating. But when I confronted him one day cause I was having a small panick thing cause he told he might commit to another girl. He told me he wants to meet me and that he feels that I'm doing everything cause I'm lonely and my life hasn't been going good all the time

It's been three years he has met the girl he thinks he's interested in as well as his 2 ex girlfriends but not me.

I can't stop thinking about him and he's busy right now as it's a very important time in his life

He mostly lied to me and said his mom took his phone away so that I don't text him as his final exams are coming..

I just wish he wouldn't care about me so much and say all sorts of things and leave me like this.