Fear
Hello, so back in January, I started dating my girlfriend and things have been so great between us… but I only feel scared about that. You see, in the past, things have been fine with my past partners, but they would suddenly change and ghost me so now I just fear that I’m oblivious or something and she’s going to leave me too. I’ve talked to her about it and she says she isn’t going to leave, but I don’t know how to not be scared that she’s going to leave me too.
@passionateCake661
I think it is normal to be afraid if you have have had a couple of experiences ... it was good you expressed yourself to her so she is aware of your fear.
To me i wish some people have just a bit of fear in things it keeps people alert and more likely to be aware of what is going on in relationships/ friendships etc.
@passionateCake661 Based on my experience and knowledge about attachment styles and relationship dynamics, sometimes it is hard for people to communicate that they are unhappy in a relationship. And it is even harder to communicate WHY they are unhappy. Either they don't want to hurt the other person, or they have learned that expressing their concerns will not improve things. This is why they "ghost" people. It is because of a lack of communication skills and maturity in relationships. As far as your situation, I recommend letting your GF know that it is OK for her to express concerns with you and it is OK for her to tell you if she is unhappy. At the same time, you have to make it safe for her to express her concerns. By creating this safe space for both of you to talk about concerns in your relationship, you make it less likely that either one of you will "ghost" each other. Now, you also have to acknowledge that the relationship may not work out - however if you create a safe space, you will see it coming because you two will have talked about issues, therefore you will not be caught off guard. I hope this help and hoping for the best for you :)