Confliction with emotions, goals, and my relationship Confliction with emotions, goals, and my relationship
My husband and I just got married but I’ve been together for about two years. Throughout this time it’s been a struggle of staying happy due to my depression I cheated once because I was not getting enough attention from my husband, and I have always felt like he is deserving of somebody from his world, since he is from another country, sometimes it is an adventure learning new things from somebody with a different culture and I’m used to that for moving all the time due to my parents. But sometimes I just feel like we don’t sit well together, I feel as though we are two different to ever be happy .
My goals are to eventually leave the country and start a life for my family. Somewhere else that will be better. however, some of these things have been set back due to choices that my husband has made and it has really weird us down from better options for our life and I can’t help but result him.
I love him so much, and I love the comfort that he makes my inner child feel, but I feel like I am not healing whatsoever from my past traumas, I feel constantly at war with my emotions, and like I never have peace. I don’t know what to do because I could see my world with him and without him.
@Desluna0962 I'm not sure if this is helpful but I kind of feel the same way at some point in my relationship. When I was living separately from my boyfriend, I felt in love but depressed, confused and lost. I hated the situation I was in living with my toxic parents who's always fighting. I felt exhausted but curious about what else I can do in this world. I would be sensitive at times and get upset when he did not give me the right attention or advice. Then, I eventually moved in with my boyfriend and we are now engaged. Life got so much better but sometimes I feel like I have this inner critic that I need to do better as a person to explore my interests. I do love my fiance, we do have plans in life together, but communicating to my partner and having a plan gives me comfort. Maybe you just need to communicate your feelings and have a plan to meet both of your needs.