Can’t sleep in same bed as my boyfriend?
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and we moved in together almost two months ago. We’re still figuring each other out at this point, but there’s been lots of positives and great moments.
One bump we’ve had is on sleeping in the same bed. He’s really upset because I will not sleep in the same bed together. I cannot get good sleep with him very often. We are both on different sleep schedules, so we kinda wake each other up. (he’s a morning shift guy and I’m a night owl) He has to play music to go to sleep and it keeps me up at night! We have two beds and a futon couch so there’s places for both of us and no one ends up on the floor. My parents had really similar issues and they never slept in the same bed while I was growing up.
This really upsets him because he doesn’t feel close to me. He really misses cuddling to bed and waking up and hanging out together. He feels like he can’t get quality time in the evenings. We’re both worried that this is him feeling neglected in the relationship instead of really being about the bed. Both of us are scared and I’m not sure how to deal with this. Any advice would be really appreciated.
@generousBeing7908
I do not know if it helps at all but many more couples then you think also do not like sleeping in same bed...it is about getting good sleep and rest so you are not crabby and dragging through your life.
there are tons of reasons .... snoring / maybe a person who is a ninja fighter while sleeping or as have other routines ........ my partner likes about 30 minutes of TV ... i do not so i stay up for that length of time before heading to bedroom .... it is NOT a reflection on your relationship or commitment it is about best way for both to sleep.
I agree with generous, sleeping is … well, it’s sleeping, and doing so separately doesn’t have to mean you’re on the outs! But I get the difficulty, as I have floated this idea to my husband in the past: he’s so easily woken up and I don’t love having to tiptoe around at night and not make a peep! But he hated the idea because of the stigma of couples sleeping in separate beds. I think it’s a bit silly when what matters is how WE feel about it. Many happy couples slee separately.
