Accusing me of cheating.

@joshuamwoodard I am basically like your wife and on here seeking help for the opposite side of the problem. Unfortunately, her behavior is probably stemming either from her own trauma / past experiences or from mixed signals she's getting from your actions versus your words.

I wish I could tell you it will get better, but I can't in good conscience recommend you marry her before you've seen if it can. One piece of advice I have for you is to make an effort to reassure her regularly and unprompted, especially if you've given her reason to think you're attracted to something she's not.  She clearly does not feel secure, and I'm not saying it's your responsibility to shoulder her own issues, but if look into it there are definitely things you can do to help her feel more secure in the relationship.

Otherwise, for your own mental health, you may want to consider if there's a healthier relationship out there for you. Both paths a valid. Wish you the best.

@joshuamwoodard

When things are good, we want them to continue. When you drink, you get drunk and it makes perfect sense to keep drinking......until you get sick.

Never make major decisions with your emotions. 

Whose name is on your lease?  Do the two of you have a cohabitation contract?  Any shared accounts or cards of any kind?

https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/free-books/living-together-book/chapter2-5.html

If you want to have some kind of commitment ritual, great.  However, once you get the government, the law, involved it gets messy and expensive to break up.  You also get put into a much more expensive income tax bracket. 

As for the ring, it's a depreciating investment, a total scam. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5kWu1ifBGU

Do you have a written agreement with her regarding birth control and what the two of you will do in the event of an unwanted pregnancy?  

Do not allow her to shame you for being attracted to anyone.  You've chosen to live with her, but you didn't choose to go blind and cut off your c o ck.