Should I give them another chance?
I have these two friends, who are a couple together. Recently, Me and 'A' fell out. He spoke to me really badly and treated me with disrespect. This happened last year too, but I became friends again. The things he has said to me have really affected me. I have struggled with depression for a while and for a few months now it has been really bad. I considered suicide, but thankfully am not in that place anymore, however, I am still in a place where i use self-harm as an escape, a way of punishing me for the way my life has took a turn. Anyway, the things he has said have made me depression slightly worse. He is the type of person that thinks they are better than everybody and I am starting to see him for what he really is.
My problem is that my other friend 'B' is his girlfriend. She has distanced herself from me over the past few weeks but denies this. I want to be friends with her, but not him. It has taken me a long time to come to the conclusion that he is not the right kind of person to have in my life and I know for a fact that I should also feel the same way for her. She clearly doesn't think of me as highly as i do of her but i am not the kind of person to just cut someone off. I dont know what to do with the situation. I cant have one without the other and whatever happens, i will feel even worse and they wont care. I just need help and advice please.
Hi Jay:
I?m so sorry that you are experiencing this situation. Losing friends can feel very lonely and frustrating. To me, it sounds like you?ve already decided what you should do? You understand that this man doesn?t treat you have you should be treated. Not only that but he makes your depression worse, so you?ve put distance between yourself and him. As for your girlfriend, do you think you are the one that is cutting her off or is it her? You said ?She has distanced herself from me?? It sounds like she making the away action and not you. From my experience, you don?t always have to take a firm stand and say ?I can?t be friends with you anymore.? Sometimes, it is ok to just let things take a natural course, letting the friend make contact with you and not seeking it out. But every situation is different and losing people you care about always hurts, and I?m so sorry you have to feel that pain.
I?m so glad you are sharing with the 7 Cups community. Remember, if you ever need more support you can connect with a listener for some 1:1 time.
Take Care!
~ CourageLeadsToNewHope