My life is a mess
I planned everything. I want to be better. But it seems like everything in the world is stopping me. I feel a little bit distant to my friends. They just don't hear me sometimes. I'm tired and disappointed. It hurts because it seems like you'll do everything for your friends but they wont do the same for you. I'm freaking out. Everytime this girl in school beat me. I always freak out. I don't want her to take over my position. I can't just sit there and look at her while she's getting better and better. I do my best and yet best isn't enough. I'm tired. I'm tired of trying.
I felt the same way about my "friends" last year. I believe that in order for people who feel that way to feel better, they need to end connections with the people who are making them feel bad, but I know personally that doing that is hard, because losing people to hang out with Will make us feel more lonely and less worthy of friendship. It also feels as if everyone Is treating us the same bad way. Hopefully next year we can find the right friends for us.
