Becoming Very Distant
Hi all.
I am experiencing, what is to me, a difficult situation. So, my friend and I have known each other since nursery, so a good twenty or so years, but last year she got a boyfriend. Ever since then, thing just havent been the same. We barely chat anymore, we barely see each other. Yes, at first I was a bit ‘salty, but hes not bad and after a while I got over it. We met up a couple of months ago after a rough patch, and it was like we had never been apart. She didnt mention our situation at all, and neither did I.
Just understand this, before the boyfriend, we did everything together. I was always around her house, and last year (2018), she came to the States on holiday with me. And for me, its been quite hard. Apart from work colleagues, I dont have many friends.
I feel like she has dropped me. She said we are still BFFs, but I dont see it that way anymore, sadly.
I dont know what to do. A best friend asks to meet up, chats via text and calling etc, even with a boyfriend. Well, thats what I would do. I am also fed up with being the person that initiates conversation. There are two people in a friendship, or any relationship for that matter.
I am interested to hear your options on this situation, and any advice for me. I feel deflated over it. Stupid right? I could go on, but I wont.
@peanutHeaven93
I can relate to how you are feeling exactly. I have people in my life that I would be so happy to spend more time with, but can't, due to circumstances. My advice to you is to try and be patient. Having a partner is very time consuming, since the reason you choose one is because you feel like every moment around them is the best possible. If she still values you as a friend, she will reach out, as she has. She won't be as availible as you like, but that's life. You can't make it like she doesn't like you because she likes him, since those feelings aren't mutually exclusive. If you feel like you want to spend more time with her or you miss how your relationship used to be, let her know. It's like you said, a friendship takes two people and if you feel she is absent, perhaps talking with her can give you a better idea of what she expects and is willing to give.