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bf vs boy bsf

pinkiebutterfly November 19th

I have a long distance boyfriend that I’ve been with for a little over a year now, and I love him, but it doesn’t feel the same as before. I don’t know if my feelings are fading or if this is just how the flow of relationships are, this is my first serious one. I have recently started feeling like I may have a crush on my guy best friend. My other friends recognize this and have asked me about it, but I denied it. They also said that they think he likes me. I value our friendship, and wouldn’t want to ruin it by dating. I also don’t not love my boyfriend, and don’t want to hurt him. Also, me and my boy best friend are seniors in highschool, and I want to go to the same college as him, so I really want to stay friends

3
toughTiger6481 November 19th

@pinkiebutterfly

It always is a risk to date a friend and lose the friendship. 

You said your BF was long distance could it be your feelings are effected by that?   Did you only meet in LD or did the distance become an issue if someone moved.  distance can be more in love with the idea of it as we always put our best selves forward and leave out details of our flaws. 

What I mean is when we are in LD it is intense...... then mellows and sometime strained by when we can see each other in person etc.   A person in our lives right there can feel real as it is not a situation of just thinking/ fantasizing  about when you can meet up with your LD bf. 

1 reply
pinkiebutterfly OP November 19th

@toughTiger6481

We met irl, but we have always been long distance. I normally see him in person about once a month

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MercyfulHeart November 20th

@pinkiebutterfly

Relationships can get complicated as feelings change and new dynamics come up. It’s clear you care about both your boyfriend and your best friend, and you’re trying to navigate this with their feelings in mind. It’s okay to feel unsure about whether your feelings for your boyfriend are fading or if this is just a normal shift in a long term relationship. It might help to take some time to reflect: are you still excited to talk to him, share things with him, or picture a future together? Or does it feel more like a routine than a connection now? As for your best friend, having a crush doesn’t automatically mean you need to act on it. Crushes can happen even when you’re in a relationship, and sometimes they fade on their own. It’s okay to just sit with these feelings and focus on maintaining the friendship if that’s what’s most important to you right now. Whatever you decide, try to focus on what feels right for you. It’s not easy to balance all of this, but taking time to sort out your feelings will help you figure out the best path forward.