What do you do in this situation?
I am seeking advice regarding my relationship. After being together with my boyfriend for almost three years now, I made the decision to have him move out. This was to allow him the space to work on self-improvement, as I was not satisfied with how I was being treated. Despite this, we still maintain communication through texting and occasional calls.
I feel distant from my partner since he moved out. I can be needy, but I think it's common for couples who don't see each other often. Our relationship has lost its spark, and I'm not sure what to do. I'm still attracted to him and have love for him, so I don't understand why I feel so disconnected from him now.
Any advice?
@imofficiallyburnt
First congratulations on standing firm and having him move out because you were not valued or treated as you wanted or needed.
I think this is a thing with more couples then we imagine .... we meet....... get together and feel love and attraction .........but there are different levels of love.... we have love for a friend .. love for family... even romantic love... all need to be taken care of by all involved ...
Like a plant needs to be watered and fed ... the distance created by him moving some think make the heart grow fonder sometimes it does not do that....
You are still in touch.......... but if conversation is about mundane everyday things or are they about the relationship... what you both see or want in the future....
My spouse and I have gone through something similar..... but his self improvement/ growth in his eyes was sufficient ......not in my view .... i love him as family/ friend but the romantic deeper feeling if there is any left is very small and fading.... attraction is not enough ........and I want more....
If after he left you felt free ....... did not walk on eggshells ..... happy to not deal with any habits that annoyed you.... Maybe it is going better then you expected........ OR he has not fought the idea and/ or is not asking all the time if he can come back ....or showing you progress?
I wanted my spouse to woo me back....... to make me feel attractive and important enough to do whatever it takes ...... instead i got him learning to not use words like always or never and using more " I " statements ... so I felt great he read an article woo-hoo... In the meantime i had other people show interest flirt etc and i know i do not want to return to him trying until .......he thinks we get comfortable and goes back to same as before.
You are not alone .......people grow and change and OFTEN not at same time or direction and time spent in a relationship or past feelings are not enough to sustain moving forward if you are no longer compatible.