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Relationship problem, need encouraging words.

BrightRed2362 November 7th, 2022

My husband of 5 years keeps saving naked women pictures to his phone, I take really personal. Then I get so angry that I do and say things I regret. I don't want to be a bad wife amd loose my cool. but I'm also tired of feeling disrespected. I have a skin condition and him looking at other women's pictures (close ups of some intimate places) really hurts me, its my bighest insecurity and he knows it. I feel like I overreacted so now I have to play nice. How can I get over the hurt and grieve without being so angry I don't like myself anymore?

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orangePerson4161 November 7th, 2022

Hi!


Unsure if this will help. I’ve recently had a similar issue. It was very hard to talk about and I also over reacted. I approached the situation by apologizing for the way I acted & tell him how I felt. I let him know that our relationship is a safe place and he can always talk about how he feels. Which he ended up doing so & we talked about it. Something I’ve learned in life is Other peoples choices do not reflect who I am & it’s something I have to constantly remember. Hope that helps xoxo


modestNorth5571 November 7th, 2022

That is not okay. Whether you have a skin condition or not, he is crossing a line. A husband does not do things like that, and especially after talking to him about it, he's the one who should change his behavior- not you. We all say and do things when we're heated and hurt, but a husband who keeps any pictures of women on his phone, especially naked pictures, is not a man worth keeping. You are beautiful and amazing, and there is a man out there for you who will love you physically, mentally, and emotionally. Don't you dare let anyone disrespect you or put you down for who you are! Remember who you are, and don't you dare let others forget.

2 replies
BrightRed2362 OP November 7th, 2022

Thanks Modest, my family said I should not give up 7 Years but it happens over and over again. He wouldn't like it if I did something like that online so why should he look at that stuff. I also take care of him in every way. I'm not a prude...how do I make sure this stops, he's a nice husband in all the other ways...but I know there might be someone else more suited for me...

1 reply
modestNorth5571 November 7th, 2022

I understand that 7 years is a long time, but your family should respect the fact that a husband does not do that to his wife and not simply tell you to stay just because of the duration. You are amazing. You are amazing!

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BrightRed2362 OP November 7th, 2022

It does help a little to not be so alone. And ill keep your advice close. I'm young and sometimes wonder when it'll be too much? Do we just keep forgiving and forgetting? Should I lower the expectations in my head that he loves me but I'm not perfect amd his eyes might wonder to others built more to society's standards? I'm not bad on the eyes and I miss being the center of attention.

2 replies
modestNorth5571 November 7th, 2022

You should be the center of your husband's attention (besides children, career, things of that nature). Everybody is entitled to having their own needs, but it's the choices you make. Marriage and partnership is a commitment that must be honored. No more games. If he wants you then he has you. If he wants other women, even just to look, then he can have other women to look at while you go get yourself a husband who will treasure you.

orangePerson4161 November 7th, 2022

It can be hard to not compare yourself, as we all have. But the most “beautiful” woman in societies eyes can be living a life society doesn’t know about. That person built to societies standards is built on looks not on their pure heart or where they are. Life isn’t a competition, life isn’t meant to be compared. The more you compare the more your in your own head. Perfect isn’t always the best. I’ve often questioned myself comparing myself to other woman or comparing myself to my boyfriends exes. But truth is, their not me. They never will be. My relationship lacks things that my boyfriend doesn’t think are lacking & vice versa. We have to meet in between a lot & listen to eachother. Listen to what their perspective is and how we can do better for eachother.

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modestNorth5571 November 7th, 2022

Yes; we have all compared. It's hard not to when from birth we're pinned against one another! But looks fade, a husband who adores his wife does not.

2 replies
BrightRed2362 OP November 7th, 2022

I wish I had a strong woman like you in my life so that I would have grown to be stronger.

1 reply
modestNorth5571 November 7th, 2022

Thank you, hun. I became the way I am because I am tired. You have to be strong in today's world. No one deserves to go through distasteful acts done by a person who is trusted and loved and cared for. It is unbelievable and unkind what we do to each other. We need to spread love and fairness and positivity. And there is someone special saved for you who will do just that.

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squichbean November 7th, 2022

@BrightRed2362 talk

find out why

dont start an argument or sm ***

just understand

and make decision from there

so u both happy

and relationship not die

integerUnderflow November 10th, 2022

@BrightRed2362

First, feeling angry does not make you a bad person, and expressing this does not make you a bad partner. Don't feel guilty for your emotions.

How have you tried to communicate your concerns to your partner? What happens when you talk about his behavior and how it affects you? How does he feel about the situation?