I struggle with severe relationship Anxiety
I’ve always been an over thinker. But my past relationship trauma has only made me worse. I’ve been cheated on and used so many times now that I subconsciously just assume the worst possible outcome for everything. And now I’m finally in a relationship where she encourages me to be open about my emotions. But deep down, I can’t stop myself from overthinking and being anxious. What if she leaves me? What if I’m not enough? What if she gets tired of me? What if I’m not enough for her? What if I’m being too open? And then sometimes she takes 2-3 hours to respond and during that time I can’t help but think the worst. What should I do to help myself overcome this anxiety? I can’t afford a therapist. And last time I opened up to my family about this, my dad laughed at me and told me to simply grow up. I don’t know what to do anymore.
Well, one thing you can try when you're having an anxious thought is to stop and look at the facts instead of your feelings. What are the facts that support that thought? What are the facts that refute that thought.
For example let's say she doesn't respond for a few hours. You might think she's bored of you or angry or something. Instead of letting your thoughts spiral out of control, try to look at the facts. What evidence is there that she's angry? Has she said so? Did she look angry? Did you argue? If not, then she probably isn't angry. And so on.
Another thing you can try to do is think what you'd tell a friend if they were in your situation and told you about it.
@DoubleA2004
I know this sounds unhelpful but........... just stop .... i was an over thinker all the time made myself miserable and had to stop..........
let it go and pretend you are those other people who NEVER think or ONLY think positive thoughts...........they do not have a care in the world .......... try it for a few hours / a day / a week ..... can i switch back yes in an instant but i chose NOT to ......... i chose freedom of wondering if every little step is the Right move etc ..... embrace the chaos it is not as bad as over thinking and being paralyzed by that.