I need help on this
I’m having a problem with a situationship, ive been meetinga man for over a month now, once a week or whenever he feels like it and I know it’s about sex and Im ok with it.
I know he’s not the man for me, he doesn’t need me or appreciates me and he has other girls, and even though im trying not to get myself down lately, he does get those influencer type girls, and i feel less of a woman.
the thing is…He keeps coming back and talking to me and I always end up meeting him. I don’t really know why he keeps coming back, because he surely must have more people, better people, but he just does. Why?
Still…
What im having trouble with, its not that i like him, its not that i want more than this, is the time in between, its like I kinda wait for his message everyday, and live in a constant wait, just overall anticipating it you know? When I get home, I subconsciously wait his text, when im working, he makes his way into my mind, It kills me, id like to be able to just stop thinking about it. It would make it better when he texts me. If I could stop thinking about it so much, it would go way more calmly and maybe id appreciate it more when he does text me
Any advice for this not so serious problem but that takes too much space? How can i stop thinking about it that much?
@sincerenessie
Maybe tell him this? Tell him how you feel, and why you're feeling the way you do. Communication is highly important in any type of relationship. Tell him what you need, and ask what he needs, and work on that with him. Don't give him your everything if he isn't doing the same. I know it's hard, and I've felt this exact way with someone I met online, and even when I broke ties with them, It's still hard not to keep thinking about them. While yes, he doesn't seem like a good guy, you have your needs, and those needs need to be met with respect and work. Set a boundary if you're not ok with him going out with others, and tell him when you feel uncomfortable with something he's doing. If he has issues, he'll tell you, and treating him with the same respect is important. It's not a one-way relationship, it's a both-way relationship. If you start to feel drained from trying to be there for him, tell that as well, and take some time to yourself to heal and love yourself.
If this doesn't work, and he's still not respecting you or doing anything for you, it's safe to say that you'd have to leave. This man doesn't deserve someone like you, and he needs to work on his own problems if he can't keep a stable relationship.
@nightskies1997
What I've also done, is give myself some space and take a step back to look at the relationship from an outsider's point of view. Occupy yourself during the times of waiting for him to text you, and do whatever you need to do in order to help yourself feel better. For example; if you need a distraction from waiting, try working on a favorite hobby you have. Go outside and take a walk, listen to some of your favorite music, or maybe just go and grab yourself a treat and snack on it? I'm not sure if this helps exactly, but that's what I can currently think of. If you have any questions, please ask, and I'll try to answer in the best way possible :]
You are allowing him to condition your behavior. You will need to do or focus on something more gratifying or rewarding. In the meantime, You can try to start missing his texts on purpose by turning off notifications, getting busy around texting time with self-care or productive activities (massage, facial, manicure, exciting or fun projects at work), or having a friend calling you at the time you he texts. Extend the time it takes you to reply to his texts steadily; maybe one day, you will find yourself easily waiting for a month before you answer him. Who knows, he might get tired of waiting and leave you alone. Find good reasons to get out of the relationship, like charging him a fee every time he has sex with you. If you don't like the concept, consider it another good reason for ending this relationship. Or also test him, and see what he will do if he doesn't hear from you for a while. Or ask him what he is doing with you. Consider his actions and words and see if you dislike them enough to leave.
