Help with current girlfriend
I’ve been married before and that really bothers my current girlfriend. We love each other but I’m worried we won’t get past this. Any advice on how to help her handle this would be much appreciated!
@keithf
would she have an issue with past GF or is it only because you married your EX?
maybe she needs to examine her issue with it
i do not see the big deal as many divorced people learned a lot about what they want or do not want in relationships....
It’s because we were married and had a child together. She’s great with my child but my ex can be manipulative and that really bothers her. I just want to make her feel comfortable so we can move on in our relationship
@keithf
It can be really difficult to express hurt, insecurities, jealousy or anxiety especially when there is a child involved. If it were just the ex, it might have been easier but as you've said, the ex is manipulative so if your attention/affections are drawn away with the child in the forefront, that can put your current gf in an impossible position.
When there are so many emotions and responsibilities to manage all at once, it can be useful to set reasonable but firm boundaries. I'll share our self help guide for you -
https://www.7cups.com/boundaries/
Hope it helps!
Thank you! I really appreciate your help! I will definitely look at that. I’m hoping for a way to make her feel more comfortable. She says it’s not about insecurities it’s more her dislike for my ex and the fact she’ll always be there. I feel like some of it is my fault because I wasn’t aware of all the manipulation at first. Now my current girlfriend is nervous I will never see it
@keithf
You're welcome!
With regards to her dislike for your ex - the ex is your ex for a reason. It doesn't matter whether you don't see her manipulations or don't dislike her. She will always be a part of your life as you will be co-parenting your child together. Even though she is no longer in a relationship with you, she is and will always remain the mother of this child that you are father of! That is a simple fact your gf will need to accept and learn to manage at some point.
I hope you are able to figure a way out through all this to a path of peace!
