Don’t like hanging out with his friends

A lot of this stems from my own resentment due to not prioritizing myself and kind of setting myself up for failure by jumping into things too quickly in the relationship which I’ve talked about before.

my bf barely gets time to see his friends due to his work schedule. On holidays or birthdays when they do hang out I always act out beforehand and end up either him not wanting me there or I just decide not to go before hand which of course is sad for him as his friends have their partners there.

I’m just really fed up with where I am in life and how I made it seem like I was so ready for everything and I’m working on that but it makes me resentful in the moment like seeing his friends feeling like they’re not the kind of people.

they also are all of a different culture and again I set myself up for that by having a “type” and dating someone from a different ethnicity. But it makes me feel like I stick out even though I understand a lot about the culture I just feel they assume I don’t or might think I don’t and it’s not my place to start showing I do.

also I am vegetarian and none of them are so I always look super awkward because I don’t want to bring my own food and stick out but I also don’t eat what they eat. On top of that they all drink alcohol and I don’t like to drink. Honestly after being around them I tend to want to distance myself and just act uninterested and can’t wait to leave. I know a lot of it is just it’s hard for me to be happy in the moment but a lot of it comes from me wanting to be doing my own thing and making progress.

I feel like a lot of his friends just settle in life and they’re good people who work for what they have but my bf being a military veteran I feel he should have friends who are also of that community and not just the same ones he went to high school with who never experienced other parts of the world. I always dated active military people and am not used to people who just hang out with high school friends even if they’re decently mature.

I know it sounds like I’m scoffing and just putting them down for my own person pleasure or something which maybe I am but I wish I didn’t do that. How can I just enjoy the moment and know that the people I’m with aren’t a reflection of my life? Like how do I remind myself it’s just a moment in time and to just enjoy the day in the company I find myself with that particular day?

i want to “blend in” per se but the food options make it hard. Last year I got there later in the day to a festivity and they had ordered pizza. They got all meat and it ticked me off. My bf said “oh someone else ordered so I just had to get what they wanted” even though the person who ordered got like five pizzas and I don’t think they would’ve minded. It made me feel he doesn’t support me there and didn’t want to help me feel better or more comfortable.