Different ways of expressing affection
Is it wrong to state what I need and leave if the other person can't meet them? I basically just told this girl I was seeing for a few weeks (barely dating), that her communication with me is not enough. We have cuddled and kissed on our first few outtings, but not much now. She says that she is just trying to get to know me. But I feel like there's something amiss. I also told her that she doesn't ask me that many questions. So I told her how I felt and she got very defensive. She mentioned that she was very tired, that thats not how she has conversations with people, and that her love language is quality time. I feel that I need touch to feel like everything is OK between us. And if we can't communicate now I might as well opt out before getting burned. I am a very emotional guy and I'm aware that I have my own issues. I just feel that need someone who enjoys touch as much as I do.
@diplomaticWest1394
Good evening to you!
As a Listener here on 7 Cups, I believe it's quite an interesting and reasonable topic to bring up. As a person who is sentimental and expressive, it's totally understandable to sense a lack of affection from someone, which is something you uphold as a standard (and rightfully so). We're all deserving of feeling wanted and loved by other people; it's important for us to show we care, not just tell.
Very clever of you to address this with the girl, regardless of the reaction you received for it. Confronting an issue with someone indicates maturity and candidness on your part.
Of course, it's also significant to note that her point about her version of "love language" being different to yours is quite valid. We all demonstrate love in different ways; yours is physical touch, hers is quality time. Both are completely plausible.
You are allowed to choose what's best for you and there should be no shame in focusing on your needs and standards. In case these aren't attended to for whatever reason, it's totally okay to dismiss the situation or individual. However, there's also the option to maintain things and see how things will progress. Whatever you decide to do from this point forward—whether it be to remain in the situation and see if it changes or just dismiss it completely—is totally up to you.
If you don't feel "complete" from the love language expressed to you and find that it isn't as compatible with yours, it's okay to point it out and deal with it accordingly.
Hope this helps you.🙏🏽