Teust issues and anxiety when seperated

@aquaPenguin911

I feel my past experiences (been cheated on by 4 exes, and had a married qoman become my friends, we started sleeping together and then i found out she has a husband, also a lady with a long term boyfriend did the same thing and on both occasions i didnt make the first move. So i feel women cheat very easily.) (I can see why you would be worried after all the hurt and pain you experienced with women in the past. Im sensing you seem to be attracted to women who are incapable of giving you the kind of love and care you deserve, and their behavior seems similar to someone you know in your past)

Then also a lot of times i feel shes not telling me things when i ask something sometimes (I can see that in here you might be feeling some sort of anxiety (like perhaps losing her or her cheating you) which makes you looks for ways to soothe the anxiety by asking her) she juat screams at me (This is not a mature behavior coming from her. I consider her behavior as a red flag, and its coming across as someone who is impulsive. You shouldnt tolerate this behavior from her) for asking like "wow this is a cool lingerie, where did you get it?" (I take it you asked this in an indirect way?. This hypervigilance where you are looking for every sign that she could be leaving you) or when i asked if she knows a guy who added my on fb whos a friend of hers. And one time i saw a new shirt on the drying rack (i knew it was new because i saw the slip when i was sorting the documents) and she said its a old shirt ahes had for long when i said thats a nice shirt. (I can tell it isn't just your anxiety, you are sensing lies from her side which are often adding to feeling like she cant be trusted) Then every day i casualy mentioned how nice it is till i told her i know its new and then she had a fight that i should have told i knew in the beginning. (She got caught in her lies by you, and then begins to twist things around you and blame you for things. This is a behavior of someone who projects feelings on other and often distorts reality. She doesn't come across as someone who attaches well, and is not showing mature behavior)

I mean that i am the husband and shes in another country for a week with her fruends doing a bachelorettes and other nights going to clubs. (This would make me question whats the need for her to keep doing this, which is normal you feel nervous about this)

I dont think i have reason to mistrust, i am just paranoid i guess. (I can tell you may grown on a household that often didn't feel safe, so it lead you to not trust how you feel about situations. She is behaving emotionally abusive, partying everyday, uses lies and doesn't communicate like an adult. You cant ignore these red flags, especially when she isn't investing much on the marriage) But i want to learn bow to trust.