Is there such a thing as "false" intimacy?
As in, when two people who dont really know one another, start to relate to each other as if they knew each other.
The relationship might feel very superficial.
Have you experienced this phenomena?
Does anyone know why this happens?
I feel like these are the only types of relationships i am able to build / start with other people (mostly). And i have been wondering if it is because i do not really know myself, and therefore i connect best with other people who are also confused about themselves....and this leads to the kind of relationship that i described above.
I'm not sure if this is similar to what you're talking about but I've experienced it where I feel like I have a pretty good idea of what the person is like, and then I'm hit with something unexpected that disappoints me. The way I worded that made it sound normal but...like I already form my own version of them in my head before truly getting to know enough about them.
@Phthalo
I could be wrong, but that sounds like transference, projecting your own hopes / ideals unto the person, and then later discovering that they do not live up to it.
I wish you could edit threads here on 7cups.
I wanted to add this to my post:
For me i feel like i am projecting my sense of self, as perceived by the other, and then thinking that the other person knows me, when in reality they do not. I then continue with the relationship, where other people would normally break off. As a result the relationship becomes shallow and i might feel alienated in it.
@AlternativeAllan I dont think you can call it false intimacy yet allan. I have had so many relations like this, it feels like initially we are so connected and its all good, but unfortunately for me it doesnt last long. But if it lasts long for you , then this is your ALLANWAY of making friends or relations. As long as either of you are not harming each other mentally or physically i see no wrong in it. And i think these relations happen cause we keep looking to find connections with others (emotional ones) and we look out for people who understand us and care for us more and more. TBH i think it is just human of us all :) Hope this helps you. Stay strong and take care.
