question- need answers, please
Okay, so a few months ago my narcissist ex ended our, what i now understand, was an incredibly emotionally abusive relationship. I've spent the last few months working really hard to deal with my feelings about all of it and forgiving myself for putting myself in that situation. I've moved on. I found out recently that my ex, who is 27 years old is actively pursuing an 18 year old girl. Now, aside from feeling very sorry for the next girl to come into contact with him, I don't care who he dates. But I feel like maybe I should say something to this girl. I know you'll say its not my responsibility, but I'm wondering if that's true. This girl is a teenager and dating someone like him could potentially lead to years of suffering. Is it not my ethical responsibility as a compassionate human being to mitigate the suffering of another person? I wouldn't even be asking this if the girl wasn't so young- if this situation wasn't so wrong on every possible level. What would you do?
Hello @sofiagrace, so sorry to hear that you have been through this emotionally abusive relationship and good to hear that you have been looking after your self and taking steps to recover.Emotional abuse strikes at the very soul and its likely to take some time to recover your self.
I have given your questions a lot of thought. While i understand your concerns for this girl, I have serious doubts about you being the appropriate person to talk to her. It could be wrongly construed as being for any number of reasons. Rather I wonder if there is a mutual friend who would be willing to be there for her. And you know when one is in the "honeymoon" stage of a relationship, often we don't want to hear what is being said.
And I'm sure there will be people who you can support in the future...your experience and recovery will be of encouragement to others.
I just joined, searched the term narcissist since I am also Dealing with the aftermath of being used and manipulated by one of those monsters, and saw your thread.
My ex narc also moved on from me to someone significantly younger than him. I think it's a control thing for them. Since they no longer have us as a source for their ego, they love on to easy prey.
As bad as you feel for this girl, I'd leave it alone. All it's going to do is suck you back in emotionally. Hard as its is, staying away with no contact is better for you long term.
Good luck. To both of us. I don't think people realize how damaging relationships with narcissists are. I'm still a bit of a mess but things are finally starting to look up after 5 months of hell.