Wish this was all a dream 😔

Me and my boyfriend just broke up recently over the weekend. We have been together for a year but have been friends for the last 8 years. Although our relationship has been off and on we have managed to get through alot together. Usually after our little break ups we end up right back together trying to come up with the things that gets to us and what we can do to make things different. But this time feels different. I feel as if they are different because most of the other times we have broken up he was at fault but this time was on me. Now instead of talking to work things out like before he says he wants to be alone right now. And i get that people need time and space but i just can’t seem to let go for now. He’s my best friend my only friend and we still love each other. Plus we still have to see each other everyday which isn’t making things any better for me at least. I want things to go back to how they used to be before all this.