Will he come back? Was it his anxiety that caused us to break up?

I was with my ex for three years from when we were 16 up until we turned 19. We broke up after moving away to uni – we went to the same place originally and then when I decided it wasnt for me and moved back home, he didnt see a future after that so called it off.
I then spent six years without him – three of which were spent in a long term relationship with another guy who I completely adored. However, throughout this period, including after the death of my Father in the earlier years, my ex was still in touch on and off wanting to meet up either as friends or as friends with benefits as happened on the odd occasion during the first 12 months after our break up. The latter occasions when we met – I was either with someone or was in a place where all I wanted at that point was a friendship nothing more.
We are both 27 now, and last year there was a school reunion which we both attended. He approached me and put forward a very persuasive argument that he would literally do anything for us to give it another go – that he had thought of me like he had thought of no one else during all this time etc etc… Anyway to cut a long story short – we kissed and for two years since then we had been together and incredibly happy – or so I thought.
Over the last two years we have talked about houses, kids names – basically just accepted the fact that we were soulmates and destined to spend the rest of our lives together. We had a trip to New York booked for this New Years and had both been talking about how excited we were to get away. Then, all of a sudden – just over a month ago and with no prior warning – he told me that he wanted to call it off. I have been in shock ever since.
Just days before he was talking about Christmas and telling me how much he loved me, and now this? I feel totally broken and lied to. He suffers quite badly with anxiety (is permanently medicated) and I have read different things about the way it can affect peoples ability to love and deal with commitment. When we broke up he said he all of a sudden didnt see a future and I have heard nothing from him since (unless I have contacted him first - even then it has never being anything too hopeful though). He told me that he was scared and that my love for him became too much – that he couldnt be with someone who thought of him as their whole world in case he let them down (To put this into perspective – we live separately, I have a well paid high level job – I rely on him for nothing in that sense).
He keeps saying that me contacting him is only convincing him that he has made the right decision. He has also said that if I am independent then to ‘go prove it. This has confused me more and made me hang onto hope in that - does he just want me to prove I can do without him before he comes back? He says he still loves and cares for me but doesnt want a relationship – but is this just all lies to save further hurt?
On one occasion a couple of weeks ago he replied to one of my emails and suggested we go for a drink before Christmas. I told him that I only wanted to do this if he wanted to sort things out and try again – that he should take time to think before deciding. A few days later a mutual friend told me that my ex had suggested to him that he would be meeting me and so I felt hopeful at the prospect he might be starting to rethink – but then the day after he went back to not wanting to meet and no contact.

I know I should move on and forget about him and I am doing as much as possible to do this – new flat, going out with friends more etc… but a big part of me still feels we are meant to be and I am hoping he will regret his decision. Just to put it into context – it seems it was a snap decision he made over a 2 day period and all of his friends were shocked he had done it – his best friend even tried to persuade him to rethink.

Am I being ridiculous thinking that he will be in touch again at some point wanting to try again? Or because this is the second time this has happened now, do you think he will let sleeping dogs lie? I know that there was no ‘other woman involved in the decision making process here so that doesnt worry me, although the thought of him meeting someone new does so I am doing my best to avoid knowing what it is he is doing at the moment.

If he were to come back then I would take some persuading to trust him again – but is there any chance of that happening now if he cant even bring himself to send a text to see if Im ok? Any help and advice would be really appreciated. Right now I just feel like Ive lost all hope of ever finding someone as perfect for me as he was and of being able to trust again. I know itll happen, but right now I just want to know whether hes likely to regret what hes done – just having an idea would be a huge comfort even though I know its no guarantee.