When is enough?

Hi everyone. I’m new here. I’ve been married for 15 years. We’ve been together for 20. The last few years have just been aweful. My husband never gives me affection. I’ve been asking for years. The only time he touches me is when he wants sex. Now we’re to the point that we can’t even talk. We just argue about everything. Every single thing I do or try to talk to him about just seems to annoy him. I’ve suggested so many things. He isn’t up for anything. Thinks it will all work out. Thinks I’m just the problem it seems. He’s controlling now. Just a moody ***. I have no clue where the man I married is…. Also we have 2 amazing children. I honestly feel if it weren’t for the kids we wouldn’t be together. It’s almost like he doesn’t want me but doesn’t want anyone else to have me either. Yes. There’s been unfaithfulness as well. The both of us. Him on some chat groups for sex. I ended up in an emotional affair. It seems neither of us can forgive? I don’t know. But he was like this before I ended up in one. As far as I know he’s not cheating. I am not. But again. He can have my phone password and I can’t touch his phone. Everything that’s ok for him is not for me.

any advice would be great…. I really am at a loss as to what to do other than walking on eggshells daily. Seems our interests aren’t even the same anymore… it sucks. No one gets married in hopes for all this.