What it feels like to be loved and abandoned. A story of true love...or so what I believe.

I had been dealing with stress, depression and family troubles, darkness, everything that drove me crazy and stuff, dark stuff that pushed me on the brink really.

Then one day I met a girl. She was kind at first, understood me, made me feel loved, made me smile, something i had stopped doing for a long time.

I fell for her. Told her how I felt. She too felt the same way. Even though it was a forbidden love, because where we both live, its the type of love if anyone found out, could get us killed. That is how dangerous it was. Yet we were in love, and we spent almost 3 beautiful months together.

It wasn't perfect, we fought a lot, broke up plenty of times and made up. but that was normal because couples do argue and make up. 

We talked about a future together. To be free from the darkness we are in.

I loved her a lot, listened to her when she wasn't feeling well, worried for her when she didn't text for a while, treated her with the best of my love, caring and always looking out for her.

But... I didn't get the same care back from her, she didn't even ask 'how are you" much or cared to see how I was doing. There were so many red flags, that I kept ignoring because I was too deeply in love with her. What hurt the most was that her love wasn't as deep as mine was.

We broke up few days ago, she knew she wasn't ready to go against the society she was born and raised in. She couldn't leave her parents, hurt them, or their honor. I could give up anything for her but she couldn't. She wanted to be free too, but at the end she chose to leave me for everything she had.

It hurt me. It broke me far worse then anything ever did. Especially when I had asked her many times "would you always stay by my side no matter what?" and she had assured me she was going to stay by my side. My mistake I believed in her and trusted her.

From my side it was true love. I cared and loved her.

From her side it wasn't.

I even ignored many signs that she didn't love me as much as I did. Maybe because I was alone..or because she understood me better.

Now, she's gone, and it hurts everyday missing her, not being able to talk to her.

But I realized, I deserved to be treated better, she never treated me with the same type of love and respect I gave her.  I fought a lot for her, but she couldn't fight for me even once.

I don't care anymore. I wished her a good life and then I left.

If you ever have a lover, someone who loves you and keeps you as the center of their universe, who checks up if you are okay, if you reached home safely, if when you are sick stays up late with you comforting you, always cheers on you when your doing something, makes you smile and is silly around you etc., then please don't ever give up on them. Don't, because there is only one known life and you are lucky to have such a love in your life. Cherish it and never ever no matter what don't give up on it, like my girlfriend did.

If you ever want fall for someone, please treat them like you do want to be treated. And if they can't treat you like that, then break up before it is too late.
You deserve someone who think, fights, and cherishes you for what you are today, not what you were yesterday or what you can be tomorrow.

I dont know how I will move on from her or if i will ever find someone who will treat me with love like I wish to be treated. But I'm hurt and sad, feeling lost. The pain I feel, it tells me that my love was true.

Wishing you all a better love story then mine 💗.