This is so much worse than I expected.
So I broke off a 4 year relationship about 2 weeks ago. It was unhealthy, very up and down, but intense. In the end I knew nothing was gonna change, and I hated how she made me feel. So I gathered my strength and I left.
I thought taking the initiative would make it easier than getting dumped. But I was wrong. I feel so anxious and sad. I feel exactly like I DID get dumped, no different at all. I guess knowing it wasn't working didn't change the fact that I WANTED it to work. And it didn't so now I feel like I wasn't good enough. Like I was rejected. The feelings come in huge waves, and it's getting a little longer between them, but slowly.
We lived together in a different town, and when I left I moved back to my hometown. I don't have any friends here anymore who I feel comfortable sharing with so I am also dealing with the isolation of the breakup. I am trying to reach out to family again but it's hard. I feel like a failure.
@dogsinapile
It's great that you were able to gather up the strength to leave a relationship you felt was un healthy<3
Even if you were the one to end it, it's understandable you are feeling sad about it. After all, it was a long-term relationship.
Allow yourself to feel the emotions and heal.<3💛💫
@dogsinapile- You showed a lot of strength in leaving a relationship that was not working for you. That is NOT a failure. Understand it is how you feel right now. Find something that gives you pleasure and joy in your new location. And remember you dont have to fit in a toxic relationship in your home. It will take time. But congrats for taking care of yourself.