Stuck

I have been with my fiancé for 4 years. We are a blended family, he has 4 kids (20g/17b/14g/11g) + I have 1 (7g). Him, 7 and I love together full time, 14/11 come every weekend (sometimes week on, week off). 17 visits once a month or so. 20 rarely comes around.

My partner is a recovering addict, narcissist and a terrific gaslighter to boot. I seriously feels like he does what he can to control me.

He willingly overdrafts his account EVERY pay period, fees be damned. Even though we're really struggling financially. We live in a house his parents bought last year, we rent it from them. But he considers it HIS house (not our home) and isn't shy about reminding us.

His car broke down 2 months ago and he's had my car ever since, without putting any effort into fixing his vehicle and knowing I am stranded at home (which hurts my depression) and I had to quit going to the chiropractor to deal with my chronic pain because I never had a car.

I love him, but this is a toxic relationship and my kiddo and me deserve so much more than what we're getting. She's undiagnosed ADHD & constantly feels like she can't do anything right by him.

I'm scared to live alone with just my kiddo & me. I found some cool co-living communities (like big houses with shared kitchen and living room spaces). The one I was most interested in rejected me. I can't afford other living arrangements and I feel so stuck. Family and friends aren't an option.