Should I tell my ex why I resent him?
I broke up with this person, for many reason, but after breaking up I wonder if I should reach him again and tell him why I feel resentful . I resent mostly that he is doing for his new girlfriend things he never did for me. As much as we tried to remain on friendly terms, that resentment kept coming back and even though he still wants to be my friend I still hold that grudge. We agreed not to get in contact anymore. But maybe he deserves to now why I can't be a friend for him if I hold this resentment towards him?
You know, I feel the same way you do. It was my first relationship, and I was very naive. I didn't think I was then, but I realised in retrospect. He was 23, and I was 17. We dated for three years. In those three years, he was horrible and disrespectful to me. He would make degrading comments saying I looked anorexic, disguised as worry. He cheated on me but it "didn't count because it was all online". I am older now. I'm 23. I have dated a lot of people, some who were good, some were alright. But all the relationships were mutually respectful. I am in a really happy one now. However, while going to therapy, I realised how toxic and disrespectful my first boyfriend was. I felt so resentful towards him, and how he had the gall to want to marry me after all this stuff he put me through. How he acts as an amazing person to other women now, and pretends he was great towards me. I wrote him a really lengthy letter mentioning everything. But he deleted the mail without reading it. I realised then, that it was good he did. Because I didn't want this toxicity back in my life. It was better for me to move on. I just needed an outlet for my feelings. If you can, I would suggest journaling or maybe telling a friend. That would be cathartic without involving him again.
