Should I reach out to him?
I know I sent a thread before this haha
I want to message my ex. I don’t know if I was the one that sabotaged the relationship, but I want to help fix the issue. He said he was unmotivated to keep the relationship going and couldn’t provide for me. He said he still likes me but he said I deserve more than what he’s giving me. I feel like it’s my fault because I kept bringing up my insecurities (twice) and my overthinking once - I’ve mistaken my overthinking with not feeling connected to my partner (therefore, I told him that I felt like I couldn’t connect with him and he got mad at me for telling him this because he felt the opposite). He did start to feel distant after this, and I had to ask him if he was okay - he doesn’t initiate serious conversations like this.
And so, I asked for more affection (like words of affirmation because that’s his main love language - but I haven’t been receiving that for a while) and him initiating more plans - but I know that it was hard for him to actually hang out more with me because he was busy and it was difficult to ask his parents so I said I understood if he couldn’t. I initiated more serious conversations - like what his triggers are, etc, because he’s been more passive aggressive with me - so I thought he wasn’t the type to initiate these conversations.
A few days after I initiated those serious conversations, he broke up with me and said all that. I feel like it’s my fault, and I don’t want to look back from the future and regret me sabotaging the relationship and not fixing it. So, is it right for me to message him? It’s been over a week since the break up.
I want to suggest a break rather than a break up. Is it worth reaching out to him like this?
No, its not. Sounds like manuplation to me, dont fall for this! You thinking that its your fault is not okay either 😭 You cared about him and actually wanted to fix things but he missed the oppurtinty. His mindset is so childish, you said he got aggresive when you wanted to TALK with him. You also said he was “busy” with stuff, for me, i think he just lost feelings. Him saying that its ur fault and gaslighting you into it is crazy, manuplation at an another level 😂 Find someone else, move on and dont text him. Trust me getting in contact with him again will make things worse. Hope you can move on soon ❤️
Thank you :) I have urges to text him from time to time but I end up not doing it because I get scared. He didn’t say it was my fault though, I just thought it was - but I guess the relationship did give me a bad gut feeling after a while and I was unhappy to the point where I was crying a lot - but I placed my love for him on a pedestal and neglected all the bad stuff that occurred when being with him
Thank you for snapping me back into reality :) hope you’re doing well. Love you <3
It doesn't sound like you sabotaged it. It sounds like you were trying to work things out and he wasn't willing to do his part.