LEFT

my 2nd divorce will b final n a few weeks. we r handeling it alot better than my 1st divorce. which i thank god we r able to commnicate cuz we have to figure out how to co parent which we are. everything is coming 2gether and falling into place. eveything but me having no one here to talk to or hang out with or share anything with BESIDES my childs father. which is fine BUT I do not connect with him on All levels so im left with this lonely feeling. my past anger pushed others and my best friend away. my best friend was my rock. he was the one person i felt SAFE with and i pushed him away. like hes no where. he fell off the face of the earth. so i just been picking up my pieces and learning to leave past n the past and deal with my anger. which is huge. im going thru moving, starting over basically. me and my 4 yr old. i feel my ex best friend n my heart which is odd cuz i havet spoke to him. ive tried to reach out but nothing. so im left with the lonely feeling. i cnt explain y i have no interest n seeing anybody else. i cnt explain y i want to only remain loyal to somebody who wont even speak to me. i cant explain y i cant make myself connect with others. i try. i try ALOT. and ive come REALLY Far. im just lonely. needing nd wanting my ex best friend here to take m mind off thngs, make me laugh, and hold my hand thru this :) i got me , meaning ive BEEN working on me and have learned to love myself. im just ready and wanting to start new WITH Him IN my life. but then i think i sound stupid and crazy. grrrrrrrr lol