Is it over or will these feelings pass?
I apologize in advance because this is going to be a long post because I'm trying to fit 7 years of information so again I'm sorry.
I've been dating this guy for 7 years and honestly thinking about all of it the last 6 1/2 years have been miserable. Everything started off so amazing! He was the gentleman you see in all the perfect romance movies. I was so madly in love and things were going great. 6 months into the relationship it was like a switch flipped in his brain and he became someone totally different. Or so I thought because come to find out in the first 3 months we were together he cheated on me with his ex gf. Well fast forward 6 years and the multiple number of girls he talked to, hang out with, lied to me about, and the physical, mental, emotional, and sexual abuse he put me through my eyes started to finally open back up again and I was distancing myself from him more and more. Well one day the place we were living in burned down and we lost absolutely everything. He was the only one home and that scared me pretty bad I let him back in and we ended up moving back to my hometown because my grandparents had a house we could live in so we could get back on our feet. Mind you those 6 years prior he eventually made me cut ties with all my family and friends. So it was so good for me to be home because I missed my family so much. Well it's been a year now since we moved here. I'm the only one working 50+ hours a week and paying for everything while he sits at the house and drinks all day everyday and spends my money however he pleases. I've asked him to leave because I just need space and time to myself because I honestly don't know if I want him in my life anymore. And I'm just too nice of a person so he just walks all over me and won't leave. Everything he has put me through has made my heart almost ice cold toward him but now he doesn't talk to other girls and hasn't abused me since we moved here but I honestly think that I'll never be able to move past it. It's too late to change now and all the damage is already done.
@Ckh94
I'm sorry to hear of the predicament you find yourself in with him refusing to leave and spending your money despite being told to go.
Being too nice of a person starts with you. It's important to draw those boundaries that respect you, your opinions and your right to claim back your time, space and life. He is a grown man; it is certainly not your responsibility to keep him housed and fed especially when you don't want to! Our self help guide on boundaries may be useful with part of the issue.
https://www.7cups.com/boundaries/
The other part - getting him to actually leave is a bit trickier since from what you've described, there doesn't seem to be any reason he would want to leave a place - free house, food, drink, company, everything! Since the house belongs to your grandparents, perhaps as the owners, they are in a better position to get him out if that's what you decide to do?
It's a hard situation to be in and I hope you find a way soon! Much strength to you