I need help, I can’t leave.

Hi. first of all i’m so sorry for what’s happening. i hope you and your children are safe. While I’m not the best at advice I can refer you to this guide https://goaskrose.com/escape-plan/ on how to escape an abusive relationship. You can also always go on reddit and post if you need specific information. Hope everything goes well. :)

Also I recommend going through this comment (just click on the link attached to the actual post) https://www.reddit.com/r/bestof/comments/hozfdb/uebbie45_goes_in_detail_to_op_on_how_to_safely/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

I feel like we need some kind of lawyer here...why would his family have a say over where YOUR kids live? Wouldn’t a mom have full rights over them? Maybe I am missing something. I wouldn’t give up on going back to England even if it was for a couple of months because then maybe your family and friends back home can help figure out a plan and you can gather your strength. I’m not sure what kind of resources available here , it’s nice that some other people posted things about domestic violence resources but I can’t tell if he physically abuses you or emotionally abuses you or both, or whether that even matters for the above resources. It sucks but you might have to stay with him until you have enough money to leave him. What if you stayed but got a job to help save up money?

Have you tried reaching out to anyone from England who may be able seek help on your behalf or help you themself? Maybe you can contact the British embassy and enquire on the requirements for divorce proceedings in the country you’re living in, or the country you were married in, as well as what would the arrangement be if you were to be separated. Your husband should have an obligation to support the child financially regardless. Sorry, this is all I can help with. I hope they find sufficient evidence to declare him an unfit husband and let your daughters live with you. Of course, every child needs a father, but narcissistic parents can negatively influence a child’s development. Don’t be afraid of joining a church or someplace where you may be able to find people who could help you in any way. These times are challenging times and you have to remember to keep yourself strong, stable and calm for your girls and for yourself. Don’t give him or his family the luxury of seeing you down.

I was in a similar situation. You need to find not just any lawyer, but a lawyer with experience in international child custody cases. These cases are extremely difficult and many lawyers will not take them. I come from Canada and here I found women's shelters and NGOs where I could get free legal help. NGOs helping immigrants might know a lawyer with experience in international custody cases. Call them if you can. Carefully prepare your exit. I disagree with other opinions on this forum. I don't think a US judge would allow you to move back to England to take the kids away from their father without very well a documented case of abuse. I would start collecting legal proofs (keep emails, record conversations, take careful notes) because you are never too prepared for court. The best thing legally for you if you can would be to do what Katie Holmes did to divorce Tom Cruise. She travelled to a place where she was most likely to be granted full-custody. If you travelled to England and filed for divorce there, your chances would be higher. Maybe you could be really nice to him and ask to visit your family? Another thing that can help you getting full-custody of your kids: if you are breast-feeding. In these cases, judges tend to favor the mother. The younger the child the better for the mother. Take care and good luck!!!