I dont know what is my issue

I was 17 when I started college and my aim in life was to get a good funny boyfriend and marry him and settle in life..  I got into a relation when I was 18. It was a pretty good one.. He used to make me laugh  a lot. When 21, I realized my parents and family might not approve of him, so I slowly started pulling out and broke up with him at 21. I joined an IT company at 21 and met a distant relative in the same team as me. I liked him and thought my parents would approve of him. I pursued him and he liked me. We told our families and we got married at 23. We had an okay life, but nothing physical, no sex etc. It was platonic, more like room mates. But to the outside world, we were the best couple, never fought, no dramas etc. I wanted to have a kid so we tried for a couple times and I got pregnant. Our intimacy grew even further. H e came to Australia to pursue MBA, while I was with my family and kid for 2 years. I was attracted to other guys, felt like talking to them but I never cheated. 

I then came to AUS with the kid and things were the same between us. Financial stress, kid stress, work stress etc. Then I met someone at work. He was married and had a kid too. But we really hit it off and we had a secret relationship for almost 2 years. Then our spouses found out and we decided to come out, get divorced and be together. I did the same. I was separated for a year and then divorced since 2 years. But that *** has been holding off his separation/divorce and has been asking me to wait citing issues with his kid. I have been waiting for him. He assured me they were separated under the same roof. But last week I found out his wife was 16 weeks pregnant and they are going to have a baby girl. He has been *** both her and me at the same time all these years. 

I feel like *** seriously. Thing is I have never been single since 17 years. Always with someone. I have absolutely no idea what to do next.