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I cannot cope with relationship breakup.
mariana4 June 8th, 2015
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My ex broke up with me 2 and a half months ago. It was very painful, very sudden. One night all was Ok, the next morning, the first thing he said was "Its all over" We are finished" .I asked why--he said "I've gone off you " "I've changed my mind" .

I lost my husband over 10 years ago, and did not want,nor was I looking for another man, but it just happened. he was 16 years younger thanme, but it worked. I thought that we would always be together, because that is what he told me over and over. "I will always love you " "you are the best" "you are the one for me" " I will love you forever" "nothing will come between us " "I will never let you down " etc etc etc , over and over. Now I realise that he must have been lying to me all the time. Even sitting next to me in church week after week , saying his prayers, singing hymns, going for Communion, and all the time he was lying to me.

But I still love him--he was in a coma several years ago, and needed a brain operation, which has left him with mood swings, bipolar etc etc. I still want to help him, but he constantly rejects me and will not accept my offer of help. The hospital has signed him off, although he still has serious issues, and is very confused. I guess I was waiting for him to return to how he was, but I cannot see that happening now.

I just cannot get over this. I spend a great deal of time on my own, as I have no family. My friends just do not understand. I am under the doctor and awaiting counselling.

But I feel so desolate, and do not know what to do about it.

1
Shiloh30 June 8th, 2015
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I'm sorry to hear this Mariana. I know it's difficult right now, especially since you can't make sense of of it. Of course you're going to feel lied to after you this happens and you think back to the times he told you "h would never leave you", "you are the best". But when he said those things, I'm sure he meant it. The two pieces of wisdom I can offer you, since I'm going through a similar situation is this: the first problem, which is probably causing your feelings of hurt to be magnified is that fact that he was your everything. You mentioned how you don't really ave family and friends to turn to at this time. And I understand how you may even feel betrayed after you've been there for him through his troubles. It helps to talk to family and friends...but sometimes they just don't understand. Thus turning to a site like this is helpful. To get unbiased opinions from people who do care. The second thing, and probably the most important, is don't blame yourself for what is happening. I know it's easier said than done, but to me it sounds like his mental condition is not in the best place after his health issues. He might not even realize it, but this is what's going on and causing him to act the way he is and not being rational. And it's so frustrating, I know, because you probably see this and you want to talk sense to him, but he might not comprehend. Until he does, you have a choice to make. You can try and continue reaching out to him, try not to be overbearing or get angry, but show that you do care and that he is making a mistake. Remind him of the good times...show him old texts or emails of the sweet things you two said. Hopefully sooner than later, a light will go off and he'll realize all this...and get the help he needs. Because until he does, even if you two get back together, it's going to be a rollercoaster...and there's things you can do for yourself to make yourself better. I'm pulling for you. Try to keep your head up. If you ever get really down, just jump on this site and talk to someone. You're not alone

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