Hurt very badly...

Took awhile, the real thing I feel is betrayal, abandonment and being used and abused. She blocked me from everything and ran from me. I never did anything wrong to her to deserve this. I gave her everything I possibly could. I literally could not have done more. Then she did what she did. Makes me feel like everything good she ever said about me was a complete lie. This hurts worse than a breakup. It effects more than just my heart. I literally feel shattered from within and without. Backstabbed, heart stabbed, obliterated. Makes me feel so much worse than I ever have before. Makes me sick and feel worthless among other things. How could someone do this to another person? Especially after seeming like a woman of God? Either she's a really good actress, honestly got beyond scared of commitment or I'm just blinded by love. Was I stuck in a fantasy instead of reality? I can't say for certain. I have so much racing through me. It's hard to handle. I can say this with absolute certainty, if I didn't have God, this whole thing would have been the actual end of me. I just don't know how to proceed because of all the hurt I feel. I feel like I need divine intervention.