Hopeless
I've been dating a guy for 10 months - it started off as a distraction, and then turned into us loving each other. From the very beginning, however, we had talked about ending whatever this relationship was in June, aka right now, since we would both be moving back home...8 hours apart from one another.
I have loved him so much, and finally he is returning it. I took the courage today to tell him that I want to fight for what we have and make it work. I understand his reasons for turning me down (new place, new job), but it doesn't take the pain away of giving all of my love to someone and then that's it.
I feel hopeless for my future in love. Once again, I've given all of my love to someone and I'm left with heartbreak. It's never going to happen for me. I'm becoming numb to love. Maybe the nonprofit world isn't just a career for me, but a life-long dedication in every aspect of my life. I honestly don't think I will ever find true, honest, unconditional, genuine love. The healthy kind that makes me a better person, that makes them a better person, and has a strong, united front.
I don't think this exists anymore, and I don't want anything less than that either. I used to be a hopeless romantic, but I can only take giving my best self to end in heartbreak before I lose hope that I will probably be alone. I've come to accept this, but acceptance and happiness are two different types of fruit. I'm numb and I'm hopeless.
I understand how you feel, I've been in your situation before but never give up! Many of us go through life after a breakup and think to ourselves we will never find true love or never find someone as good as our ex, and we are all wrong thinking this way. Someone is out there for all of us, we may not find them right away but they will come. I've had many girlfriends in the past and thought they were the one, and yes I said many because I thought one girlfriend was the best girl for me but I always found better. You have to have hope, without hope you will just be depressed. Also remember that life doesn't revolve around finding the right person, there are more important things such as bettering yourself. You don't need to move on right away, focus on your and making yourself stronger independently. If you have a job focus on your career, if you are in school focus on your future and make yourself a better person and it will make your relationships better as you work towards making yourself a stronger independent person. You will find someone that is perfect for you, I guarantee it. Someone better is out there and you will find him, it just takes time and patience. Stay strong and don't give up, you'll get through this. If you need someone to talk too I am here for you, take care.
