Going thru the motions

I am realizing that my ex is not the right person for me. I am doing things for me and trying to get through the days. School will be a good distraction for me. However, my birthday is coming up and we’ve never missed each other’s birthdays before. A part of me is still hoping he reaches out, but I know it’s too soon for him to realize his mistakes/change his behaviors. I just want these feelings to go away. I don’t want to keep wanting him, yet I do, despite knowing that I cannot take him back as he is.