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Ghosted Him Back

crimsonstaysup May 8th, 2020
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This is a bit of a ridiculous story but I experienced it so I felt like I might as well share for anyone who wants to comment. I met this guy online and he was really similar to me and my romanticized ideal of a future person I'd like to be with in how he talked and his sense of humor. He even comforted me how I'd want to be comforted after crying all night because I got emotional for whatever reason.

One issue is I never knew what his face looked like and I didn't pressure him to much about this because I thought of the dynamic as just a fantasy, enjoying when he had fun talking on the phone together and him complimenting me. After me being insecure and impatient about slow responses while he was working on classes, he was understanding and told me I should always expect him to be understanding... This was after I'd cried for hours because I had conflict with a friend and I didn't know if he'd be understanding to me after I wanted to quit playing an online game together.

Anyway, he texted me less and less, at first reassuring me that it wasn't because he wasn't interested... Maybe to save my feelings, maybe because he meant it... But then one day he didn't say anything and completely ghosted so instead of continuing to be clingy and overly attached, I just ghosted back and along with that, logged off of all my social media without telling most my friends.

I won't be back until the start of next month and I just wanna take a break from being impatient, from being needy towards people... And then try to be more distant and see whoever wants to reach out to contact me more.

I know that this guy isn't "the one" or anything serious like that but not knowing if he'll say anything by the time I check and being at peace with that makes me have mixed feelings... I want to be more neutral and care less but it is what it is.

My attachment style is anxious attached but I'm trying to be more stable or avoidant. Does anyone have any similar experience like this or any advice?

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crimsonstaysup OP May 8th, 2020
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To clarify, I did call three times and left two messages offering to talk things out before completely logging out of everything so I wasn't as cold as he was.

This is an obvious 'he's not into you' which makes me feel embarrassed to even talk about it but it is what it is and I'm just trying to get over it.

ResilientSerenity May 8th, 2020
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@crimsonstaysup It takes courage to identify personal improvements and then put them into action. I think so identified a behavior that didn't feel good to you and have made a plan. Awesome!

I wish I had book recommendations for you - maybe someone else has some resources for your attachment style.

kitkat34948 May 8th, 2020
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@crimsonstaysup i hope your doing okay i seem to get ghosted a lot too i think my attachment style is the issue too but i feel it gotten some what better for me but its hard with dating sites