Getting over a passionate relationship.

Someone please help! I'm going through the same thing too :(

Hi there. I can relate to your pain and questions. While I'm still working on recovery, maybe I can share some of my insight with you. I believe that my ex's feelings and words toward me were genuine for a while, but eventually they were not and things still carried on. I was used and manipulated. This may not be the case for you, but I know how heart-wrenching it is to go through something like that.

First of all, I think it is important to accept that you are going to hurt and that it's okay. I don't think that the pain is something that should be suppressed. Rather, I think that the pain should fuel us to focus on ourselves. We've lived as a unit with our significant other, and now we have to reconstruct a life for ourselves. I imagine my broken heart being used to reinvent a newer, wiser, stronger heart. I focus on healing and improving myself. Exercise is really beneficial in that regard, physically and emotionally. If there are things you wanted to do or try but couldn't because of your ex, now is the perfect oppurtunity.

Secondly, I find it helps to do things for and spend time with others. I know your world probably revolved around your ex and it's hard to get accustomed to anything different. But by being with others, we can realize that good times are possible without them. Like I said, it's especially rewarding to do things for others. Anything from volunteering for a shelter/charity to making dinner for your family.

This isn't to say that there won't be time for reflection on your breakup. That's important too, and that's the hardest step because it brings back the pain, but with each relationship we learn things. For example, I learned what signs to look out for and to trust my intuition so that in future relationships I might save myself from that same type of heartbreak. It's not a fun lesson to learn, but it can make us stronger, more compassionate people.

It can take a lot of time to heal from something like this. Like I said, I am still working on it and at times feel like I can't cope. But if I really try and find the balance between allowing myself to hurt, doing something for myself, and spending time with others, things do get better. I go through a wave of emotions from empowerment to despair, and that's okay as long as I keep on. I hope that you find this too. You are strong and you can get through this, and 7cups is here to support you. Please take care.