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Fiancee left me with the baby

Hayln May 21st, 2016

My fiancé walked out on me when our baby was 3 weeks old, he moved out Wednesday when she was 6 weeks old. I dont know how I can get over him when not only am I in love with him but now I've got to see him regularly for the baby to have contact.

I'm really struggling with my mental health, I tried to kill myself on Monday and I've had support workers come out twice a day since. Im having trouble bonding with the baby cz of everything that's happend and it's not her fault I just wish he had taken her too.

I am so lonely and I don't know how I can cope loving him when he feels nothing for me :-(

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Love4AllofU May 21st, 2016

I'm so sorry this happened to you! Since this has become a very serious issue, please find a Listener to talk to! :(

Here's my profile if you would like to talk to me!

http://www.7cups.com/13403270

1 reply
Liz1000 May 21st, 2016

@Love4AllofU that link is indeed called your referral link, but it is to refer people from outside 7cups, to 7cups (it sends people to the dashboard page). Your link to refer chats to is this one: www.7cups.com/@Love4AllofU

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Hayln OP May 21st, 2016

Thank you everyone, I am feeling a little better today, I think it's at night and the evenings I miss him the most. Hes taken the kids out today and just seeing him without being able to kiss him and touch him was heartbreaking. Knowing I'm so in love with him but in his words he feels nothing for me anymore. Hes said he can see I'm getting better and he will support me but I think that's just so I don't kill myself. Until a week ago he was still wearing his engagement ring but he told me it was only to keep me happy :-(

I have joined alot of baby groups this last week and tried to keep in touch with other single mums online. Im hoping I can find another single mum in my area and we can be best friends lol.

I know I definitely don't want anyone else right now but I dobt I will find anyone else in the future. Especially being a single mum with 2x2 at 23.

Thank you everyone for ur support, I am new to 7cups so I havnt actually spoke to anyone one2one yet. I will when I can work out how to navigate lol

X

Starchildren10 May 21st, 2016

It is good to hear you are feeling a bit better today. Even a tiny amount is a good amount and the right path to healing. I am sorry for the difficult situation you are in, it's hard to feel such love for a person who does not feel the same way back. Although we cannot control other people's actions we can attempt to control our reaction. Even in the depth of the dark (where you reside now in these early painful stages) you are already showing signs (from what you have posted so far) in my opinion, of someone who understands she will gain control over her own reactions in the future after given time to heal. You deserve to love and be loved unconditionally and may you find all you deserve one day. Good luck and great work being the kind of person who is willing to allow your ex a chance to be with his kids even if he is not with you, that takes a big heart to be able to do. Feel free to message me, I am just a regular person who is not in your situation but has recently divorced and also has young children, not much I can do but chat if you feel lonely or sad.

1 reply
Hayln OP May 21st, 2016

@Starchildren10

It is hard seeing him, but she is his baby just as much as mine and she deserves to grow up with him even if he doesn't deserve her. My 5year old has spent the last 3 years as him as her dad so I'm hoping he doesn't break that. Im just dreading the day he has a new relationship 😔 I cant bear the thought of him with anyone else, and it's that thought that keeps dragging me back down into the darkness. I know I secretly hope he will want me again but I also know that's never going to happen 😔

I have a support worker coming every other day now. After Monday it was twice a day, then every day, now every other day and they hope they can discharge me next week. They had to send someone round on Tuesday because I wouldn't answer my phone I felt so ashamed.

I wish I could turn back time and have my family back 😞

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