Endless Cycle of Breakups

So I admit, I'm not good at being single. It's been 2 weeks since my ex and I have broken up and I have urges to reach out, like really badly because I miss him so much even though I was the one who ended things. Would it be wrong to text him? Why am I still holding on to him even though I know we weren't right for each other as of now?

And, I guess it's not helping me that I'm trying to distract myself with other guys... cause his love/attention was different.

I guess I still want him to be a part of my life, I guess I wish and hope he will be the one in the future cause he's such a good person, but he didn't treat me the way I wanted. I just feel like I need to journal more or something and stop stalking his social media to see if he's going to do another petty thing. I just want the pain to stop, I just want to move on. I know that I'm a good person, a good girlfriend, I guess I'm just scared that I'll never find a good boyfriend because I never feel satisfied after months of being "in love," and I'm not sure if it's because I have high expectations? it's hard for me to stay in relationships past 6 months because I just become either sad or bored. It's an endless cycle.