Divorce that drags on
Going through a divorce that drags on since we have 1 kid together and live near each other. Doing the best co-parenting that I can.She says she has another lover but I do not. It hurts me everytime to know she is going out with him/her. I understand why she left me because I was not a caring husband/father. Just found out I am the Avoidant attachment type therefore did not address the issues correctly in time. Now is too late and its hard to accept she is gone. How do I move foward? Thanks for listening
For me, during my divorce, I had to look at and treat EVERY interaction as a business transaction. It took the emotion out of it. Keep it short and sweet, to the point. Nothing more, nothing less. I know it sounds cold but sometimes, its what needs to happen. You can absolutely still co parent, be civil and kind. It's the only thing that worked for me.
@Tee0000
Really sorry this is happening to you - know that you do not deserve it but life is not ideal so we have to still aim to keep moving forward with time. What is promising is that you recognize that you may have some part to play in the divorce - though I cannot say this is true but I would suggest you can use this striking of adversity to improve and self develop because all adversity is an opportunity for growth. There are no roses without the rain, right?
Now on improving yourself and focusing on being the best version of yourself and being the best father to your beautiful child - nothing will hide your new found radiation from all those around you including your ex-wife. Know that she is also grieving and she may have her own coping mechanisms - the new lover could be just that...
The point is: now is the time to focus on you and strive to be the best version of you - and use this dark time to bud a 'new you' - the best version of you! And you will!
Sending love! ❤️